Sunday, April 7, 2013

A letter to my boyfriend

I just wrote this letter now because I am really pissed at him. I am not sure if you will be able to make any sense of it, so if you have a ny question(s), just comment below. Thanks for reading! I obviously won't be sending it to him... so

You’re starting to take me for granted again. I am not secure in your pocket. My love for you is not unconditional. I have demands and needs that you need to fulfill. So many things annoy me that you do, but I ignore them for the sake of our love. But sometimes, it just gets too much. I am still not over the fact that you don’t want me to live with you for a short period this summer. After dating for two years, it’s shocking that you still cannot tolerate living with me, or should I say, hosting me for a brief period over the summer break (less than two months!). Also, we are not technically moving in together since 1) it’s a short period, 2) I will move out when it’s time for me to live in my future house, 3) I would help you pay your rent while you’re unemployed. Every person who hears that I am looking for a place to live in the summer laughs at me and questions our relationship. Some have even told me I need to start looking for a new boyfriend. It hurts. It hurts because I still cannot believe that I am not welcome to live with you over the summer. It really raises red flags for me. Also, I don’t feel like you’re in love with me. You love me, for sure. But you’re not in love with me. I deserve someone who wants to spend as much time with me as possible. Someone who doesn’t get bored of me. Someone who doesn’t try to avoid me. Someone who doesn’t sleep with me in bed as if I am a sibling or a platonic friend. Someone who doesn’t feel like kicking me out of his place every time I “get on his nerves.” I am not happy. I am not saying it’s your fault. And I am not saying it’s my fault either. Don’t try to make me feel bad because you think I’m trying to make you feel guilty on purpose. You are my boyfriend of two years. You can do better.