Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I'm back. Please read.

Yes, I'm back. I just need to get something off my mind real quick. 

It was your birthday yesterday. Although we agreed that I am not getting you any gift (because I splurged and got you an iPad mini for Christmas), I still went out of my way to make you feel special. I took you out to lunch and then walked with you to get cupcakes and spent the night over although it’s a school night for both of us. But in the morning, I decided to check your phone as it has become a habit of mine lately (security ad trust issues of mine). I knew there must have been some texting thread with your ex. And woah was I right! You miss him? You wanted to come over to his place? You tried several times to call him, but then stopped yourself? You wanted to cuddle? If I remember correctly, that was around the same time (early morning of Sunday January 27th) you left me a voice mail that night, at 2 in the morning, all drunk and lovie dovie. WHY!? I am not sure how I can put in words what I am feeling right now. So I am just going to stick with a three-letter word. I’m SAD. I don’t know how to face you about this. And I don’t know how to pretend like I’m okay and go on this week, heading to the weekend which is when I am throwing you a big birthday party with your friends. I wish I am a better actor. But then again… why act?

More on this story later. I promise you all to make time to update you about my life and about who exactly this boyfriend of mine is (+ his relationship with his ex). Please read and comment. I need your support again. Scratch that. I’ve always needed your support. I am sorry for leaving you abruptly for so long. But I am back now.