So since I haven't blogged in a while, I thought Imma be posting slowly by slowly about people that have been playing part in my college life and somehow affecting it - positively or negatively. Now Imma write about my roommate. So let's give him the name Mario. So Mario is gay (as I told ya before). He used to say he's bi at first but one time I sat him down and asked him if he would ever do a chick. He said "Hell no. Vaginas are disgusting!" So I made him admit he's gay and not bi. By the way he works at the college LGBTQ center and he's quite out and about.
When I traveled a few weeks back for that conference, he bunked the beds in our room without asking me first. That pissed me a lot. Now every time I mention the topic (i.e. finding a compromise or so) he says yeah yeah and changes the topic or leaves the room. I can no longer study on my bed coz of the little lighting it has and I keep hitting my head... (he took the top bed! Ugh!).
Anywayz, that's not the only thing he's done to piss me off, beside the fact that his friends come over to my room to pre-game almost every weekend and the fact that he once got soooo wasted and vomitted all over the room. 2 weeks ago, I found out from a good friend of mine (to whom I came out lately but told her to keep it a secret) that he's been outing to people without my permission. I GOT SOOOO ANGRY! So the story is that he's told his 3 close friends and also other people from my floor -- randomly. When I confronted him he did not show much caring and went like: "What's done now is done! There's nothing much you can do no, Sam! I'm sorry... Get over it!" WHAT THE FUCK!!?!? He clearly cannot relate to my situation since we come from different cultures and backgrounds and if being has been easy for him, it has been PAIN IN THE ASS for me (not the good type lol). All in all, he never really cared to find out more about my issues and why exactly I cannot be out. I really do not want my parents to find out because that's not something I plan on doing in this lifetime (facebook is dangerous + I have a cousin who goes to my same college). So I've talked with my RA (residential assistant) about this incident and she's lesbian by the way. She showed me her support and has communicated the issue with the other RA and the dorms' director (and they're both gay). We might end up having a mitigated discussion with my roommate and one of them (I cannot really talk with my roommate by himself because it hurts to talk with him and sense his careless attitude). Moreover, I am meeting with the dorms' director this afternoon -- he wanted to check on me and go through some possible solutions. Changing roommate might be one approach (because I can no longer trust my roommate and hence I do not feel very safe in my room).
Yesterday night, when I got back to my room, I found out that my roommate has left me cupcakes and a letter on my desk. In the letter he apologized again and talked about how it's been awkward between us lately. He said he hopes I can forgive him and that I do not lose trust in him. I texted him saying: it takes courage and enough caring to write that letter, which I really appreciate. There's so much going on my mind right now and I need time to think through things. Don't mind the awkwardness. Somehow, at the end of the day, everything would be alright. I really don't know how to feel about this whole issue and I don't know how to behave, react, etc....
That's it for now. I gotta run for class