Sunday, July 18, 2010


Happy Sunday!

So I spent almost all day long yesterday chatting to Mark on msn.
A bit of background: He is this 17 year old gay guy who added me on facebook. He's friends with my bi BFF Sandra. I am not out to him.

So we chatted about a lot of stuff and he kinda likes how supportive and gay-friendly I am. I told him "I am straight so far" as you may already know. He told me a lot of stuff about gay life in my home country. He also mentioned to me that he's been 'fucked' 5 times and he says that he's 'bottom only' and doesn't like being sucked... bla bla bla. He even sent me dick photos of 2 guys he's online friends with. One he says is strange looking, while the other is the longest one he's even seen for real lol. I didn't really get why on earth he sent me those photos lol but Oh well... I couldn't complain. He also asked me whether I am virgin or not but all my answers to him were vague... so I told him "I am kinda virgin, depending on what you define as sex". He is a really sweet man and I feel so bad for all the crap he's been through. He told me about this time he met a so-called gay guy online and they scheduled a time and place to meet up but when he showed up at that guy's place, 2 men went to beat the hell out of him and stole 60 USD from his wallet. He had to lie about the incident to his family. He's not out to his family (they'd disown him) but he's out to most of his close friends. He plans on moving to the UK after high school to pursue his university studies and he is kinda like me when it comes to hating on the people in my country for being superficial, stupidly conservative and homophobe. I told Mark that he can confide in me and I can try to be there for him if he ever needs to get things off his chest. We said we'll try to meet up in person soon (maybe next week) so our discussions would become a bit more personal. I clearly don't want to fool around with him or anything... I just feel like we should be cool friend if time permits. He's not my type anyway lol. But you know, sometimes I feel like I'm kinda sent by some divine power to be the angel of some people in this life... I think I am meant to support Mark and make him feel good about himself. So I'll try to do that as much as possible. Despite the fact that I'm moving abroad soon, I will try - in the time being - to chat with him and support him.

Besides, I am chilling enough with my family these past 2 days. My parents are super sweet and love me so much. I'm trying to be their sweet loving kid as much as possible. I woke up today and told myself that I am very lucky to be the person I am and at church this morning I thanked God for all the great deeds I've been offered... I am OK with hiding a "part" of who I am for now... Being Gay/Bi/Whatever is NOT really the only thing that defines me. Hallelujah for positivity! Hope life treats y'all well!

Lots of Love!


Phunk Factor said...

Great to kno your doing great!! ENjoy meeting up with Mark!!

dpking19 said...

aww go sam! and i try to help a kid like that as well it fells great when you do it right Love<~Peter~>

p.s. know this is rude but need a new layout i am still seeing your blog because of the purple on black i guess just weird like its burned into my eyes cant stare at it to long lol

Micky said...

Maybe the word you were looking for is 'destiny' or is that too corny for you?

Do the deed and enjoy the buzz. Just be careful out there, eh? We'd all like to have you back in one piece!

wayner said...

'He doesn't like being sucked'; I've never heard that about a gay guy before lol. The two guys who lied to him and gay-bashed him and stole his wallet richly deserve a stretch in hell after they die. How do people like that sleep at night? What ignorance. Yeah, keep it cool and enjoy your summer; maybe do a little college prep work on some boring days. Remember that university will take more self-study and work on your own than high school. Mark is sort of a kindred spirit in your country so supporting each other is a good idea. bfn - Wayne :)

tman said...

Ahhh!! That was such a sweet post, Sam!! I can feel your contentment with the present state of things... I guess you've reached 'equilibrium', which is a good place to be- you're expectations are reasonable, given the environment... Good for you- go with the flow!! And, it makes my heart warm, to hear that you're looking outward a little, to help other people... I really like that... the whole ego-centric thing that so many people are hooked on is no way to live... Give a little, take a little- you'll be FAR happier!!
I'm with you on the 'dick' pictures!!! lol I'm not sure what they mean to him... I mean, I've seen thousands of 'dicks' in real life, what with showers at competitions, etc. for many years, and, I'll admit, most were quite beautiful to me, but, they were attached to bodies, and, w/o the rest of the guy, would have no aesthetic value for me, at least... Oh well, each to his own, I guess!!
I guess there's a lesson in his horrible experience with that bashing scene, Sam... It's a dangerous world out there, still, for gay men- that's why you were smart to pass on the guy in the showers... There are much safer ways to meet guys and get to know them, instead of getting involved in impulsive situations like that... If you can't meet a guy that you just met, in a public setting a few times, just to become more comfortable with him, don't go out with him!! Even tho, these things don't happen as much as they used to, they do happen, and, you don't need to expose yourself to that kind of risk...
Well, enjoy the summer, kid!! It goes by really fast, sometimes!! luv, tman<3

Sam said...

@ Phunk factor: Thanks! <3

@ Peter: Thanks hehe... good for both of us, then! ;)
Is the layout better now?
(what do you suggest)

@ Micky: hehe maybe? Nah... it aint corny :P. Thanks for your care! <3

@ Wayne: I think I don't enjoy being sucked either FML :(
I wonder about that too!! Some people are pure evil...
Thanks man! :)

@ Tman: I am blushing hehe.. thanks a lot!
I agree with you about the dick photos being meaningless without a full photo of the guy!

naturgesetz said...

It will be good if you can help him feel better about himself.