so... yeah... I got very angry and still am. Now I aint as angry but am sad... and I can cry if I let my tears go... but it would hurt so Imma suppress them... bleh.. don't mind my English for now; Im blogging coz I need to get things off my chest. Im in bed and about to sleep... chatting to my idk-bf who lives oceans away from me :(
So Mom keeps fussing about me being online all the time - I am bored that's why I do so... and using the internet is what I enjoy the most. She keeps treating me like a baby! and I hate that!! I know I've been away for 2 years and she probably feels Imma be gone for good coz next time I'm back I'm really an adult but still... she's the mother... so she should be the more understanding one!!
So she asked me to go lay next to her... while I'm still online... but I didn't reply. I went to the bathroom and kept my laptop on my bed. When I got back, I found out that she has shut it down. I got really angry... She told me come lay next to me (we still do that in my family... so we talk and such... yeah Mommy's boy!). So I replied: "I'd do that only after you start treating me like a grown-up!"
I am really hating how my parents still treat me like a baby! I am 19 ffs!!! And today I had another argument with Dad... I went to some admin with him and I was wearing sandals.. he hated on me.. and I always have to beg him to let me drive. I got my license last year and I cannot drive well yet coz of lack of practice...
For some weird reason, this small argument with Mom made me remember what a terrible life I've had a few years back - no close friends, boredom and constant humiliation. It was then that I should have started blogging... These memories are what made me so sad right now... Imma try to post about those bad old days soon... so you guys would get to know me better.
OMG! I am hating those feelings so much!! :( I really DO love my family and all but I don't know why I am unconsciously detaching myself from them this way. A coping mechanism?? (my idk-bf says so)... I don't wanna hurt them... but they really anger me fast these days!! I don't wanna start with those feelings of disliking being at home and around my family! :(
PS: I know I am not being nice or fair with my family - especially my parents... but I just can't help it. I know Imma be regretting being this way... Mom is probably hurt right now :(