Thursday, June 3, 2010

FML and lots of updates

Heya BlogWorld!

I've missed you guys but at the moment, I am feeling so down that I thought I really needed to shout out to y'all, get things off my chest, and update you about me. Hope you're all good!

They’re all doing OK… and are accepting my aunt’s death well. She’s in a better place right now and she deserves eternal rest after all she’s gone through. I had a terrible nightmare last night and woke up at 5:00 am like crazy thinking my dad and brother died. I called Mom so early and freaked her out. I made her pass the phone to my bro to believe her (that they’re OK) and as soon as I heard his voice I burst into tears ON THE PHONE! I think I have some inner issues I am avoiding to face and they’re now coming to the surface and messing me up.

Exams are almost over: 13 down, 3 to go. I’ve been procrastinating all along but it’s been OK. I think Imma get B+ or As on all of my Math and Biology papers, some As for Mandarin, and God-knows-what on Chemistry.

High school:
I am leaving high school for good in 8 days. Graduation is this Saturday. There are guests and new faces all over campus. I’ve been interviewed by some newspaper yesterday. Students are crazy about their outfits... but I am not that excited at all. I do have a new suit which I bought over Xmas and I think Imma rock a classy black look. I have no idea what to do with my hair; I cannot afford a haircut (my hair is long and messy) FML =(

I finalized all my documents and whatnot. I am so bummed coz I didn’t get approved for my Visa. I’m put on hold coz of my nationality and background… they say they need to investigate more about me. It’s so hard to be from a place hated by the rest of the world, and it’s hard to be me. Aaahhh! Minority complex hitting hard right now!
I have used all my money for my visa documents and appointments; and I cannot ask my parents to transfer me money coz I didn’t tell them I’m applying for the Visa (I wanted to surprise them coz it’s so stressful for them to help me get my visa in my home-country). FML, I am so broke. Maybe I should sell my ass for those guests on my school campus. But how can I advertise myself?

I still haven’t given this issue much thought yet, and I haven’t even filled out my housing questionnaire either. I am still in contact with this dude who’s so fun/funny/cool and with whom I share so much stuff in common (including being gay). I don’t know if it’s a good idea to be roommates with him… what ya think?

Thanks for reading! Love ya mucho!


Brian said...

I’m sorry you are under such stress, that you are having problems with the visa, and that you can’t afford the haircut you would like to have for graduation. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck on the remaining exams.

I don’t see any problems with your proposed roommate. I would think it would be nice to have someone you can share a lot of your feelings and thoughts with. You can set boundaries to prevent any problems you anticipate. I would think it would be a lot worse to have a straight roommate and to have to always be hiding yourself from him.

Stay tough; hopefully things will go your way soon. Enjoy your graduation and proceed into your new life.

Micky said...

On the face of it I vote in favour of a roommate too - especially if you know the guy and he'd be gay company. Reckon you might have a lot of fun together (in the non-sexual sense!)

Hey - now! The visa thing will probs work out for you in the end. People are still dead worried about folk moving around the world and there's all sorts of horribly intrusive databases you gotta clear. Just keep on with getting information and background on what others in a similar situation have done and get in touch with support organisations who have experience in this field.

Some doors may be closed, but others will open if you know the right things to say.

wayner said...

Hi Sammy. I know you are working on exams and are very busy. When I have a bad dream it is usually around 5 in the morning. When I have an erotic dream it is usually around the same time also lol. Don't read too much into the crazy dreams we all have occasionally. You do miss your aunt and your family and it is separation anxiety catching up with you.
-You're from a country the world hates? I wouldn't put it that way; people are generally wonderful and hospitable where ever you go; it is government, politics and religious fundamentalism that cause problems. I think western countries can be too quick to judge other cultures without understanding them first.
-The room mate you are talking about sounds ideal; just make sure he is not a party animal lol. Actually it sounds like things are going well for you so cheer up; a nice summer coming and college in the fall. The stress and work is just getting you a little down (I remember exams too!). With the hot weather coming it is time to get your hair buzzed short, find someone with a clipper; those pics and vids of the young guys with the hair buzzed off are very erotic. You are doing great Sam so finish off the exams and celebrate graduation and getting back with your family for a while. bfn - Wayne (hugs)

HMG said...

Yay finally a new post! okay family bit, well that happens and I know it is really hard because you are so far away, but it will always happen, but you have to remember that they are just dreams, but yeah ummm I guess I have nothing to elaborate about that. So exams, do well and pass them all!
High school:I think your best option for your hair is to style it, I mean that usually helps, also just use water.
College: OMG totally get that guy as you boyfriend...I mean roommate, yeah jk about teh bf thing, but really I think you should room with him, hell why did you even ask, I mean it seems liek you enjoy him and you have a lot in common (according to you), I say room with him for sure!