Monday, June 28, 2010

"nothing is to be feared, only understood "

  Wayne just reminded me of this above quote by Mme Curie and so I though I should do a very quick post to send my dearest regards to y'all at blogworld.

I hope you're all doing great this time of the year... I assume everybody must be on some form of summer holiday (in the northern hemisphere) or at least having a nice time with all the World Cup heat and whatnot. lol. I, personally am doing FANTASTIC!! Life has never been this great in my entire existence :) I am done with High School and its stress for good and am on summer holidays before moving to college - one of the best colleges in the entire world! I am still traveling around and enjoying my rainbow-self before being back home. I am sooo out of the closet at the moment coz all my current pals are co cool to embrace me and my fun attitude. I've been having so much fun lately; just turned 19 (my Birthday was a few days back) so I better be as crazy as possible this year since I am soon gonna be out of the teenage-hood (sob.. sob..)

Oh and I have finally been to gay clubs!! Yay! xD (I will tell you about my naughty adventures there soon!) and I am being sexual as well with my idk-bf! He's sooooooo caring and loving. I am so lucky to have him although we gotta go our separate ways soon (coz of fuckin' stupid distance) but Oh well - "c'est la vie" (such is life).

Oh and btw, I have found a roommate for college - will tell you about that later. And my Mom is already annoying me about my sexuality although I am not bak home yet - I will complain about that to you later (once I am back home and super irritated) lol

OMG OMG OMG There are waaaaay too many stuff to talk to you about but I have very limited internet access at the moment. I will hopefully find time to blog more constantly by next week coz Imma be back home at the end of this week. I have no idea how to be back to the closet now -- straight-looking me gotta get back to the closet as I'm going back home for these 2 months.... FML 
Wish me luck!!!

Love ya mucho! Take care and email me or comment on my posts coz I'm gonna be back to this blog world vewy vewy soon! yay! xD

KISSES,
Sam

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Graduation, Coming out, Making out, End of school, etc.

Heya!

I miss you all so so so much! Thanks for being around and reading my blog and being supportive all the time. I have 50 followers at the moment. YAY!!! XD Thanks a lot!
Welcome to all the new followers. Hope I don't bore you lol

OK so I had my graduation ceremony this past Saturday and it went super well. It actually DID meet my expectations (which were very low coz I kinda hated my school at very many instances throughout these 2 years). So grad was nice and fancy... although we didn't have much of a fun prom or party... coz my boarding school suck like that. But I won't complain coz I'll get to live THE life, party, drink, have fun as soon as I leave campus. Senior summer should be fun... and college is gonna be a blast! (I hope).

Besides, I came out to Mike (bestest guy friend) yesterday night. He received it VERY VERY well... I love him! It's such a pity that we're not gonna be together anymore (coz school is over and we're going our separate ways) but I wanna keep in touch with him and might meet up with him while in the US for college.

I was sitting in the dark TV room today, watching '500 days of summer' with Mary and Mike. And then they started making out... so passionately!!! All three of us are VERY close friends... and it's not like they have feelings for each other. But they have both recently broken up with their respective bf and gf so you can imagine... We talked about what they did once it was over... and I begged them not to feel awkward nor weird about it. We are close buddies and so should we remain. My theory is that people can make out, even if they're only friends, when it feels right.

However, being this close to them (on the same couch) while they were making out made me feel so so empty. I also felt very lonely and sexually frustrated (if you know what I mean lol).. But my idk-bf has not been around lately and this makes me feel ever emptier. Bleh, FML... I don't know how to feel. We've both been very busy lately and so we haven't been in touch much. I miss him - as a good friend before anything else.

I am leaving school for good in 2 days and I am NOT looking forward to it AT ALL! I am gonna miss it so much... despite the sad moment I had in here. I am also gonna miss Mary, Mike and a few others like hell... I hate having friends all over this globe and not being able to be with them in close proximity all the time. Life sucks... Imma miss Mike and Mary so so so so so much! :(

Take care, good people!
Sam

Thursday, June 3, 2010

FML and lots of updates


Heya BlogWorld!

I've missed you guys but at the moment, I am feeling so down that I thought I really needed to shout out to y'all, get things off my chest, and update you about me. Hope you're all good!

Family:
They’re all doing OK… and are accepting my aunt’s death well. She’s in a better place right now and she deserves eternal rest after all she’s gone through. I had a terrible nightmare last night and woke up at 5:00 am like crazy thinking my dad and brother died. I called Mom so early and freaked her out. I made her pass the phone to my bro to believe her (that they’re OK) and as soon as I heard his voice I burst into tears ON THE PHONE! I think I have some inner issues I am avoiding to face and they’re now coming to the surface and messing me up.

Exams:
Exams are almost over: 13 down, 3 to go. I’ve been procrastinating all along but it’s been OK. I think Imma get B+ or As on all of my Math and Biology papers, some As for Mandarin, and God-knows-what on Chemistry.

High school:
I am leaving high school for good in 8 days. Graduation is this Saturday. There are guests and new faces all over campus. I’ve been interviewed by some newspaper yesterday. Students are crazy about their outfits... but I am not that excited at all. I do have a new suit which I bought over Xmas and I think Imma rock a classy black look. I have no idea what to do with my hair; I cannot afford a haircut (my hair is long and messy) FML =(

College:
I finalized all my documents and whatnot. I am so bummed coz I didn’t get approved for my Visa. I’m put on hold coz of my nationality and background… they say they need to investigate more about me. It’s so hard to be from a place hated by the rest of the world, and it’s hard to be me. Aaahhh! Minority complex hitting hard right now!
I have used all my money for my visa documents and appointments; and I cannot ask my parents to transfer me money coz I didn’t tell them I’m applying for the Visa (I wanted to surprise them coz it’s so stressful for them to help me get my visa in my home-country). FML, I am so broke. Maybe I should sell my ass for those guests on my school campus. But how can I advertise myself?

Roommate:
I still haven’t given this issue much thought yet, and I haven’t even filled out my housing questionnaire either. I am still in contact with this dude who’s so fun/funny/cool and with whom I share so much stuff in common (including being gay). I don’t know if it’s a good idea to be roommates with him… what ya think?

Thanks for reading! Love ya mucho!
Sam