"Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all." - William Goldman
My eyes hurt so much.. and my body aches everywhere. I couldn't sleep yesterday night. I was at first chatting with my cousin back home who told me that my aunt/Godmother [who has been in terminal stages of cancer] is extremely unwell and staying in intensive care... she was suffering so much... :(
Then I went to bed, with my mind full of sorrow, sadness and anger... I am angry at this life...
Today I called home to find my Mom at church with all my relatives and people of my hometown.
My aunt/Godmother has passed away at 3:00 am.
I couldn't stop crying on the phone... Mom did not want me to know about these bad news this early coz I have exams to worry about... But bad news travel fast.
I felt it... I knew it... my heart melt for it...
Mom made me speak on the phone to grandpa, grandma, and all my uncles and aunts. They all got to share my tears and listen to my trembling voice. Life is unfair... Life is unfair!!!
But I have to be strong. I cannot afford a breakdown at this time of the year. I am in the midst of very crucial exams. I have to continue studying for my papers... I am nowhere to be done... I have to remain strong!
But why do I need to remain strong? Why am I working hard? To go to college?? and then what???? Become further and further from home, family and beloved ones???
Life is not worth a single cent, without my family and loving people on my side... But I've left them all behind and went on to fulfill my greedy desires and materialistic needs!
I want to be home right now!!! It's so easy to give up on everything in this life!
I am so drained... my body hurts... everywhere
But I have to go to my books... I just came back from the exam room and I have exams to prepare for, coming tomorrow and the days after...