How are you all doing?
Hope life is happier on your sides.
Well, I have all the reason to be happy actually but I am not.
Please, excuse me for being quite emo lately... I am really OK though. I am not committing suicide any soon lol (I am joking!)
Anyway, I am still very lazy and not being able to get any school work done. fml. I hope this changes soon coz I really have to start prepping for my official finals.
I am seeing my life coach this Saturday (hopefully). I haven't seen her since last year coz she was on maternity leave. Back then, I used to discuss with her my homesickness and issues with friendships and self esteem. I only once mentioned to her that I think I might be gay but then she did not believe I am coz I did not give her valid reasons...
Now, loads of things have changed. She'd be shocked lol. I think I will ask her to help me with self acceptance issues.
I think I am bringing my love (the guy I met over the break) a hard time by being kinda childish. I love him so much - I know that for sure - but I have mixed feelings of low self esteem and sh!t like that. Plus, I miss him so much. He made the highlights of my life when I was with him. But I have to accept the fact that it's not possible to have big hopes for us. I know for sure that when I get a career and make money I'd visit him. He's a great friend (before being my first love) and I cannot afford losing his friendship.
I was chatting to Mom tonight and she was telling me about how proud of me she and my father are. She told me that I always made them proud - since nursery school lol. So I asked her if they'd ever be embarrassed at me (I was thinking about when I come out to them) so she said yes, if I ever make them lose their trust and confidence in me. I am sure they'd be embarrassed of me if I ever come out to them. So I won't do that any soon, or rather never ever.
Take care of yourselves, my friends....