So yesterday - Saturday was not that bad. I hung out with my best friends (Kevin and Mary, to whom I am out now) and we watched some movie bits. And I had decent food coz I ordered Pizza and hot chocolate. Today, there is a mall trip but I still don't know whether I am going or not. I cannot find a buddy to go with. fml. All my good friends are either not going or already signed up with someone else.
This coming week is my last week of class before the study leave. It’s amazing coz I’ve been waiting for this time for 19 years now yet it is right here but does not feel that special. My dad says that it is normal to lose interest in long-awaited things once they’re here because us, humans, always look forward and seek thought-to-be-unattainable things but once we own them, they lose their value and feel like they were easy targets. My dad is quite philosophical sometimes. This used to annoy me when I used to live at home but now I miss those talks so much!!!
By the way, my father is a highly esteemed figure in my hometown (politically-wise). I am not saying the title he holds for now. So people look up to him. He’s running for elections again this term around and I wish him all the luck. I am sure people will vote him back in because he is THE best. So when I am home, people call me by his title and expect me to one day take up his position. AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!
So yeah, this factor adds up to how difficult it is to ever come out to my dad, and ultimately to people in my hometown. I am Sam, son of my dad, the super achiever, the talented student who travels abroad for top education, the man who is gonna lead the town and probably the whole nation, one day, etc, etc, etc.
Way too much expectations are held upon my shoulders but I shall not stress about them for now. I try as much as possible to keep it real and take things one step at a time. For now, I just wanna graduate from high school, then move to college and enjoy myself.
Have a fabulous day!