I am questioning myself a lot… not quite about my confusion though.
I am hearing back from all my US schools by April – I don’t only want admission, but also a full scholarship/financial aid package (my parents cannot pay a single cent)
With all the consequences of the last economic crisis, schools are not as generous as before and it’s costs spent on International students that they always reduce first.
I received yesterday a letter from one of the schools I applied to. It is a decently competitive one, but not the most selective one on my list (not my dream college). They said they’d put me on the waiting list... fuck them!
I am questioning; if this school decided to put ME on the waiting list; what will the others do? The more competitive universities might just send me rejection letters all the way. fml
And then, Good Bye to my dream of an American education and lifestyle…
I did get accepted by two US schools already though (one is like a safety and one is VERY competitive) which is good but none of them has given me financial aid yet…. April is the Big month too!!
I am so nervous.
My mock exams are going well, I guess. I am doing my best without necessarily exhausting myself to the maximum.
I sat and chatted with Mary for like 2 hours yesterday. We talked about our families… (she’s a single child and is planning on meeting her biological father soon.)
I told her that I am bisexual two days ago in a very random fashion, but it was in a funny, joking way. She asked me if I am joking, serious, or just confused…. So I said “confused” at first, and then told her “No, No! I am not” (also in a joking way). She asked me to elaborate but then we had to go to our opposite dorms so I told her I’ll tell her more about this soon… I hope I don’t chicken out the next time such a conversation gets triggered.
But Bleh! Why do I need to come out to her? Nothing will change anyway, so I am just gonna give up on this and focus on my studies instead.
1- I think I am falling in love (yeah! with a real person…) I know I am not meant to or rather it’s unhealthy for me, but I cannot help it… Every time I speak to that person I start smiling like a silly and yeah. hihihi
2- I have relaxed my hair (with chemical products). Most of my friends think it’s cool; few say it’s not. I’ve been called all names; Joe Jonas, French, Spark (from star wars lol), semi Asian semi American… why can’t I just look like myself?? Mom asked for pics so I sent her some and she told me she hates my new hair and that it’s not nice. She thinks I look like my sister’s ex bf (whom she and I hate lol)
3- I miss my gay former teacher so much! There’s a lot of things I would like to talk to him about… He told me he’s coming back soon so I’ll probably get to meet him in secret again lol
I am going back to my studies now. Got 2 exams tomorrow and three on Saturday.
Hope you’re all well :)