Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Is my teacher gay or simply weird?


Hope your week is kicking well and on a good start!

I have a day off today so I am just chilling in my room with my laptop and some books all over me, getting ready for this week’s exams. I just came back from Lunch. Every Tuesday I get a good lunch at my Advisor's place and he's a great cook!! (a great way to skip the crappy meal at my boarding school)
First of all, I wanna tell you that I think my teachers like me… As in, they ‘like’ me… and this makes me feel special >_<
Many of them stop me, as I walk around campus, to say Hi and ask me wassup… (yeah, THEY initiate). It’s not like I am disrespectful or anything. I ALWAYS greet any person I come across (unless it’s a first year student that don’t really like or intend to befriend - NO I am not that mean!!!). So yeah, my teachers like me and I feel like I can really be their friends – at their level – not just have a random teacher-student relationship.  I don’t know why this is the case. It’s probably coz I’ve always felt older than my age and found it hard to communicate with people of my age. I always like to talk about higher level things and not just be superficial with people my age… Bleh! I dunno. 
My favorite one is my college counselor. She’s SO MUCH fun! I love her sarcasm and her intellect. I visit her in the office from time to time just to share a joke or talk about random stuff.  There are also other teachers who can like flirt with me (and I do flirt them back, politely – yeah right!) while others show me some of their friends’ photos on facebook or tell me about their outings and stuff like that. I wish I have time to befriend all my teachers  and keept sucking up to them through friendly emails from time to time or random checking up on them – they’d spoil me big time! I know that teachers also like to hear the gossip around, so to please one, I can simply pretend that I need to talk to them about some issue I am facing and then they’d be like: “Oh!!! Sam trusts me… and comes to me for advice..” haha… I know how to make them feel good and precious! But I haven’t been sucking up m much lately coz of my busy academic life, and coz I think it’s fake and unnecessary, added to the fact that I have my blog now to shout out my feelings and thoughts.

Now the more interesting one is this new teacher at my school (it’s his first year here); let’s call him…. Neo.  OK, so Neo is a cool guy, he doesn’t teach me (only teaches first years) but I’ve like had several discussions with him in the first trimester – nothing too deep in the discussion, just like random stuff. There’s something weird about him though… He’s got this very chilled out look that I cannot explain and he often checks me out when I am around (or so I think) and often gives me those funny looking smiles. When I was going home for the last holiday I met him at the airport by coincidence (seems like his flight was around the same time as mine) and we had dinner together as we were waiting to board on our planes. Nothing special that we discussed or so. After I came back from the holiday, I’ve been busy and ‘invisible’ (as he describes me) so I barely talk to him (nothing except hi/how are you). But I still think there’s something weird about him… my gaydar tells me he’s not that hetero (although he’s not like flamboyant or metro or anything like that.) During the holiday, he did not go back home to celebrate Xmas with the family. He told me he stayed at some friend’s place, somewhere in the Far East (Asia). Could that be his boyfriend???
Anyway, Neo emailed me (and some other chick) yesterday saying in the title “people I don’t see”… and he asked us if we’d like to join him on Saturday over some pizza to catch up and chill a little together. I feel like he wanted it to be a one-on-one with me but felt it would sound weird to ask so he emailed this other chick too lol. (Excuse my cockiness!!) He also said that we can bring a cool friend along, if we like.
But like, what is this random email and why does he think we’re that friends? It’s not like I have ever been super close to him or anything?
Does he simply like me as a student or what? Bleh! I don’t know. I wish if there’s some other gay guy around at my school so I can discuss Neo with him.
I wish I can just go and ask him: “Are you gay?” LOL. I am so so so curious… I wanna check how good my gaydar is… hehe

Maybe I am just overthinking about this… but I mean, why would a teacher care about being friends with a random student like me? Are some things better left unquestioned?



tman said...

IDK Sam... It's funny you talk about your maturity level and relating to older people better on some level... I was exactly the same... I think what happens is that the teachers recognize that as well, and are more comfortable talking to someone that they can relate to; of course, that doesn't mean that they can't have dinner with their fellow teachers.... So, you being a young buck and all, lol, lets face it- there's a certain allure to that, tho, I'm surprised that a teacher would risk that type of contact with a student, given the possible consequences... Still, a young teacher; a student nearing graduation; temptation...lol IDK... I taught lots of young guys at one point and mentored quite a few; I have to say, just from my experience, that the temptations were many and it was many times very difficult to resist. I did tho, because I felt responsible for the emotional well-being of my students as well, and didn't want to do something impulsive and selfish that would create a problem or confusion for one of my lieges... Or, for myself, as well!!

I think you're right to suspect something a little 'different' here... Teach understands the dynamics here, but I have no way of gauging his intentions; he may just want the company of a nice young buck ...lol... there's something to be said for that- look, but don't touch... lol But, he may also be real horny and not have the willpower that I had, and being a young teacher, may be a little more impulsive than most...

If you decide to accept his invitation, go in with WIDE open eyes, Sam... It might be to your advantage to bring someone along with you, if you feel uncomfortable... Heck, if you are uncomfortable, don't even go!! You're right to be skeptical!!

Good luck, kid... Let me know how it plays out!! luv<3 tman

scottiestoybox said...

Hey Sam. Here is some information for you to think on. In the boarding school I went to it was part of the teachers job to interact with the students away from the class. Their homes were on campus and we students were invited to different teachers homes regularly. We were stuck at the school and it was a long way to town, so we often went to town with a teacher even if they were only going on errands.

So it maybe part of the teachers job to spend time with you and the other students to evaluate your status and development.

Best wishes and hugs,

Micky said...

Mmmn - yeah OK there's that teacher/student 'lets be careful around here'thing but you are 18 and that makes things a load more relaxed I guess.

I'm sure there's little but food, drink and good company. So why not?

wayner said...

Socializing with the teacher should be ok with other people present. Some homosexual hints here though. However, a sexual relationship with a teacher may present problems with school policy and position of authority even if you are 18. Otherwords, the shit will hit the fan. Student/teacher sex will get the teacher in serious trouble if he is caught. It sucks, but society demands it. Interesting though. - Wayne :O

Aaron said...

I have to admit at least he's daring enough to invite you to have a meal! :) I think just enjoy what it is - friendship or more, take it as it comes. :) Let us know how you go!

PS: I've been reading all your posts on Reader but never get the chance to comment cos I read it on my mobile!

Sam said...

Thank you all for your thoughts and welcome Aaron! :)

It's true that since I am at boarding school, teachers tend to build strong relationships with students(especially coz like most teachers are younger than 30, are freshly uni graduates and either live on campus or stay around quite often)

However, this teacher is a lil weird coz he does NOT teach me nor have I like taken much of an initiative to befriend him or seek his support...
He could be simply friendly and trying to be nice to students.. and I am cool guy, you know, (mind the cockiness) so he cannot resist me hahaha

Maybe I am just exaggerating but my gaydar says he's not hetero. Bleh!

Nothing close to sex would EVER happen though... it's so impossible.
Let's go with "He's just friendly" for now
But I will be myself around him (i.e. I will be as cute and cool and gay as possible hahah)
Yeah, right! lol