I just wrote 2 school tests (Bio and Maths) and I think I performed well. I am happy they're over but I gotta start preparing for my mocks taking place in March... still got time but there's a shit of a lot of other things to do at the same time... I will not bore you with my school work schedule but please bear in mind that I am being very busy these days at school….
Anyway, I am doing overall well. My busy life is probably helping me in having fewer moments of crisis, depression, self-hatred, etc… (which are very normal to happen to me while I am going through my confusion)
Regarding my confusion, there are very many ups and downs. One day I wake up happy about myself, another day I hate myself, people around me and society at large (lol). I understand that nothing too special is going on with me – I am meant to feel this way until I finally conquer it all (as my friend Josh would say), achieve self-acceptance, face society, and Rock the world!
On a side note, I just wanna share with you what's on my mind.
…I’ve been thinking of either deleting my blog or making it private...
(Please don’t slam at me yet)
I know it's very early and I just started blogging and all but I am a bit scared and worried…
Firstly I would like you to know that I am loving this blog land and blogging has been helping me a lot in getting over certain emotions, speaking up my mind with full honesty, and talking about things that otherwise I would have been keeping to myself only…
But I am kinda paranoid already. As I told you before, I am at a boarding school and here students access the same internet network and are subject to the school’s firewall. Hence, the school can literally track down my history and all that I do on my laptop (they can even go through my email inbox, which is only permitted in extreme cases such a violation, harm or so on)
I know that my school does not really have time to be stalking me per se, since students are many and the school cannot dedicate such time for ever single student. Plus, I am not doing any illegal stuff for them to find a reason to do so.
However, what’s worse than all that is the fact that the school’s server and network are more or less run by students (the geeky ones) who initiated this ICT support team and took the initiative to supervise and monitor the network.
This means that some students can actually access other students’ internet history and personal data. Although the school goes on and on about integrity which must be maintained by that ICT support team, I cannot really rely on them not to access my data by either curiosity or ill-will. So I am worried…
[some guys on that team dislike me (and I dislike them back as a result) so they might just be spying at me or trying to find any way to mess up with my life…]
It’s just so easy for any other student to find out about my blog; and once they do; they’d very easily tell that I am the author (my blog says a lot of personal details about me that someone who knows me in person can easily spot)… and then I’d be in hell! (you understand what I mean; you know my school’s type and whatnot)
So basically I don’t know what to do and what is best to do…
I wanna continue blogging but there is this privacy issue tormenting me… :(
I would love to hear your suggestions and advice…
Thanks in advance!