Sunday, February 28, 2010

it seems like I don't care... feels weird



Happy Sunday!!

I am trying to make this a short post. I am working on my brevity lol
I was so lazy this weekend!! I did not do any school work AT ALL!

I watched Priscilla yesterday, on and off. It was cool. I just realized it's not my first ever non-hetero movie. I watched in Chinese class last year some movie about a Chinese guy dating an American boy, and whose family arranges him a wife to marry.. that was funny (cannot remember its name)
Priscilla was OK, not that amazing though...

About my title. I don't know but lately I have been behaving so much like myself, without feeling the need to wear masks or control my behaviors or what I say. It's weird. VERY weird!
As in, I feel like I don't care about what people think of me - gay or not.
However, I just found out (from Drama Queen) that people at my school talk about me in my back, saying stuff like: "Sam would grow to become gay!" 
Gosh, I did not know that! I don't know if I should feel offended, hurt or neutral... Most of those who say stuff like that are people I've been super close to...

Bleh! Besides, as I said, I am not watching out what I say or do anymore. I am just being spontaneous. And by the way, I am getting into too many discussions about homosexuality and so.
I don't know for how long this is gonna stay this way. I hope I don't regret it though...
I feel weird.

I am overall very lazy; and nothing is entertaining. I am not focusing much on school work nor on social life. Maybe that's why I am no longer taking the effort to care about what people think of me.

I really have to get some energy to start preparing for my mocks. I have predicted "A"s for official exams which I have to meet.

FML!!!!!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and Have a lovely new week! :)
Sam

Saturday, February 27, 2010

GOD is Good!!!

PS: Please read Friday's Post if you've got time

  Just a quick note to tell you that I am very happy and excited at this very moment.
I booked the flight!! I told ya!! Prayers and Well Wishes help :) and they DID!!!
  Some of my friends at school prayed for me and I did pray a bit too. And you guys have wished me luck!
It worked!!!
I am gonna get away from school for a little, meet my family friends at last, and have a great time.

Thanks again! and Thanks to God

Love,
Sam

Friday, February 26, 2010

I am out to more people than I actually think… and Priscilla!

Hey Guys!

I hope you’ve all planned some fun and/or chillaxing stuff for this weekend.

How am I doing? F-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-e-d!!
I am trying to plan a once-in-a-lifetime trip for the upcoming Spring/Easter Holiday but things are not going as well as I hoped they would. Well, both my parents and my school gave me consent to travel for a few days but destiny is opposing me… sob, sob. Neither my parents’ credit card nor mine is accepting to purchase my flight online. I cannot wait for some third party's help because I’d lose my booking and this was the last good deal I could dream of…
I want to jump in anger, scream, shout and cry!!! :(

Anyway, back to my title...
YES! I just realized that I am out to more people than I actually think. And these people are my teachers at school, especially those who used to be close friends with my gay former teacher (let’s use the acronym GFT for him).

So, let’s count together who amongst them knows or at least seriously suspects my non-hetereosexuality:

My gay former teacher – duh!

My advisor – duh, again!

My previous Leadership Teacher: She’s narrow minded by the way – but has seen me once in my gay former teacher’s car, parked at the side of the road, talking and talking to him and then hugging him. Well, why else would I be talking to him (somehow in secrecy), even after he’s no longer teaching at my school?

My English teacher: She’s like my GFT’s best friend. She knows that I used to be so close to GFT and clearly denotes my metrosexuality and sensitivity. She’s the one who said ‘Woohoo!’ when I told her that I am sending my ignorance/homosexuality essay, without having it anonymous.

My College Counsellor: She once, arranged for me to see my GFT in secret and left me and him alone at her house and at the mall. By the way she’s VERY liberal and I saw on her facebook that she’s fan of the group advocating for GLBT’s rights – she’s hetero though lol
I behave myself in front of her – as in, I do reflect on my artsy attitude and sensitivity, and even my opinion towards tings that fully masculine machos shouldn’t be speaking about.

My former English teacher: She knows that I am very close to my GFT and has tried so hard to arrange for me to meet him outside school after he left. She’s also very close to him.

Some random English teacher: This one does not teach me but she shares her house with my college counsellor and also helped out with my secret meeting with my GFT.

Well, if they know I desperately need to get in touch with my GFT and agree to help me out; they defnitely suspect that I am gay like him and am in need of his assistance and advice… Right?
(by the way, I am like the only student who’s kept this much in touch with him – to be expected lol)

Finally, my former History teacher: Now this one is interesting. She also DOES know that I am super close to my GFT. What’s interesting is that my GFT asked her to lend me a movie she has. Guess what it turned out to be….
Well, it is: “The adventures of PRISCILLA, Queen of the Desert” She gave it to me yesterday and am hoping to watch it tomorrow – if my roommate leaves the room so he doesn’t ask me what am I watching, bla bla bla…


Have you guys watched that movie? If you did, what do you think of it?
I am excited to play it – it’s like my first non-hetero movie ;)






Anyway, I am punished tomorrow night – have to spend the evening in the library because I missed some school presentation. Fuck them! Lol
(it’s not like I’d have done something more fun on Saturday evening, instead)
As you know;  
NO girlfriend 
NO social life 
Lonely Saturday night in the dorms


Random facts of the day:

1. Mike used some red marker and my correction fluid during class today as nail polish. Then he started behaving fem-like and joking around. Some students were offended saying: “That’s so gay!!” I was around him so I kept on replying to them: “It’s not gay, it’s fem” lol (I don’t even know what I meant)

2. I played Frisbee under the rain (and did not get sick…. Yet)

3. I am chatting to Drama Queen and she just told me that some friends told her that I'll turn out to be gay; but she tells them "No, he like gals!" I am pissed... I dunno how to react or what to say.. let's see what the conversation leads to...

4. I am so bored, yet I have loads of school work to do.


Anyway… I am glad you’re around and thanks a lot for reading my long boring posts…
Please stick around and share with me your thoughts or whatever comes on mind. I need entertainment lol

(And please pray for me/wish me luck in being able to book my flight and nicely arrange that trip)
I am upset and frustrated about it, right now! :(


KISSES!!!
Sam

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Does he know I am gay or bi?


Hey Good people!

I am just gonna talk now about random stuff (each different topic in a color). Yeah, kinda rambling. Bear with me, please! lol

Firstly, I failed the last Chemistry test! That was a first. I have never ever before gotten a mark below average (below a B, actually lol). I guess there’s always a first time.
I hate chemistry! I wish I never deal with it after high school. But Man! I am probably gonna do some pre-med in college so Chemistry will still haunt me! ;(

I submitted my article for the school online journal; the one I talked in it about ignorance and took the example of homosexuality to illustrate my points. (I could email it to you, if you’d ask). My teacher asked me if I’d like it to be published ‘anonymous’ so I said NO! She replied: ‘Woohoo!”. Should I be worried?

My current best guy friend (let’s call him Mike) has edited that essay for me. I kept going on and on to him about how it pisses me off to hear offensive comments made about homosexuality and how much this article speak about me. He didn’t ask anything. Does this mean he knows or suspects I am gay or bi? I also told him about my current fascination with Adam Lambert and made him listen to his songs… He was like: “It’s obvious that he’s gay” but he said it in a neutral, joking way. By the way, he’s really respectful towards “different people”. He told me once that his aunt (with whom he lives) is bisexual. I wish it’s a hereditary thing. lol He’s really cute, fit, intelligent, caring, fun, etc. I care so much about him and love being there for him whenever possible. I hope I don’t fall in love with him. He often comes to my room and when it’s late he’d be sleepy and then dozes off next to me or like on my arms. He’s adorable! I make sure I don’t wake him up purposefully. He’s been going on and off with some girl friend. He just told me that they broke up for good now. I feel like coming out to him… I think he’d be very supportive or more like: “Oh, cool!” and then move on and change the topic.

Anyway, I am getting so much attached to blogging. It’s like whenever I go, I am always thinking about some online friend(s) and other bloggers and wondering when can I have time to check other people’s blog, post something and get in touch with a fellow blogger…
I am becoming so dependent, and am no longer feeling the need to work much on my real social life – at school for instance. Fellow students say they barely see me around. It’s basically coz I have loads of work to do + I prefer talking to my online friends or blogging instead of having to suffer in real life by being nice and trying to make friends. I only find time to my 4-5 good friends at school; the others only get a ‘Hi, wassup?’ and ‘Bye’ from moi.
Is this unhealthy?

Besides, school is still killing me. I had like a Maths test yesterday and a History presentation today. They both went well! Thank you Lord! : )
I know it seems like I am always writing exams and shit like that. Trust me, if you don’t know my school system, you know nothing! :P

I have school mocks coming up soon (8-19 March) and I have to start preparing. But I am very bored and sick of studying! Nothing is entertaining and I have kinda lost my motivation to work. I know I’ll kill myself to be ready. Bleh! F*** school work!

I hope life is treating you well!
Thanks to all those who commented on my previous posts. Your opinions and thoughts are very highly appreciated!
A very warm welcome to the new followers!
You rock my world! ;)

Tight Hug!
Sam

Sunday, February 21, 2010

..oO I want someone to love and make out with Oo..



...I finally watched Valentine’s Day!

I went yesterday afternoon to the mall, with my college counselor, Drama Queen and the guy I ex-loved/now-hate. I had an amazing time, We strolled a bit then we watched the movie.
Valentine’s Day is a must-watch! It’s fresh and has too much humour and cuteness (boys and chicks)
OMG! ……TAYLOR LAUTNER was hot like always!!! (although he didn’t feature much.) Oh, and Taylor Swift is so stupid!! You cannot tell whether she’s smiling or frowning... I guess she should never go into the filming industry – she’d better remain on her guitar with her country music. I am glad Lautner and her broke up :)
Surprisingly, Jessica Alba didn’t look good at all in the movie. Blonde hair is definitely not hers! Plus, she was such a jerk with cutie Ashton Kutcher!



I loved the fact that there was gayness in the movie. Finally!! We are becoming a bit more popular although not necessarily accepted…
It’s funny how some stupid people behave regarding homosexuality. When Eric Dane showed up for the first time – semi naked in his chalet - Drama Queen (sitting next to me) started shouting about how hot he is… And then later on in the movie, he came out to the media (coz he’s like a famous footballer) as gay. Then, Drama Queen screamed “Oh NO!” and started saying that he’s disgusting…
How on earth could someone turn from hot to disgusting this quickly? Fuck all the people with that mentality!


Anyway, the movie was really nice. I enjoyed it a lot!! But it’s one of those movies that make you feel like you’ve got a really loser and crappy life.
I want someone to love and make out with right now!
I am so thristy for love and making out… my lips are dry, my heart is cold lol- I feel empty :(
I want a boyfriend, a girlfriend, whatever… :P

After the movie, we headed to a fancy restaurant well-known for it’s grilled steak.
Guess what I had!
...
.......
…........ Yeah?… NO!

I had OSTRICH! (check picture below)

It didn’t taste strange at all. It felt like normal beef… I would definitely have it another time.

 Ostrich with Cranberry Sauce - a delicacy

 
I came back to school at around 11:00 pm and my mom was online, waiting for me to chat with her. She always complains about my sisters (they’re always going out, partying, staying up late, all over their boyfriends, bla bla bla) and I keep telling her that it’s normal and it’s their age. But she keeps complaining and saying that she wonders how could she control them and make them focus more on their studies, etc. She should seriously stop comparing them to me. They probably hate me know (actually, they do – although they do not show it.) I’d also hate someone like me, being compared to all the time…

PS: I am still loving Adam Lambert.. and I cannot get enough of him (songs, pictures, videos…) I cannot help it! :P



I hope you’ve enjoyed and your weekend!
I gotta go back to my books now, trying to be productive before school crap resumes tomorrow – hard core in the air!!! lol
The teachers have already sent us emails warning us from how much work is waiting for us. Bleeh! I am sick of having to study :(


HUGS!
Sam

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Gays should become monks and lesbians should become nuns


Hey Guys!

I had a very interesting (or more like pissing off) discussion yesterday over lunch with two interesting (in a negative way :P) friends. One of the guys was asking me why I haven’t been going to Catholic Church with them lately (yeah, by the way I am Catholic lol). So I told him that I am busy and I am kinda having some issues, questioning Catholicism and whatnot. But I still go to the other church (kinda Anglican) from time to time. So he started asking me what exactly I am questioning and I told him about some of the stuff then I lastly asked him “what are the views of the Catholic Church surrounding homosexuality?” (coz I once heard that they believe homosexuals are diseased, need a lot of prayers and should practice celibacy…)

So He told me: “Gays should become monks and lesbians should become nuns” He said that this is what Catholicism believes. So I told him “this is BS!!!” (Bull Shit lol) and then tried joking him saying that this is something they’d enjoy. “Imagine! All gays together in one place – the monastery – and all the lesbians together too!”
He laughed, saying that this should not happen, bla bla bla. He wanted us to talk more about this topic – yeah right! He’s trying to bring me closer to his views but I left the dining hall and told him we’d discuss that later… it pissed me off a bit.
What do you, guys, think of this?

Back to me and my religion. Well, I believe in God (God of Love, as Josh would say). I also happen to be Christian (coz I was born in a Christian family) and a Catholic one too. I enjoy my religion and strongly believe in it. At the time, I’d like to be Christian – full stop. Jesus came to unite us, not to make us have various divisions within Christianity, I believe. I respect my religion and background. From Catholicism, I take what makes sense to me and kinda leave out those things that may sound illogical, in my opinion. (Excuse my preachiness)
For instance, I accept the theory of evolution- I can see how both evolution and God’s creation of Man can coexist (I look at the story of Adam and Eve, for example, as a legend that God used to simplify the complexity of His creation so we can easily understand and relate to what He has done…)
These are just my thoughts... I’d love to see what you guys think!!!

Anyway, I have been so unproductive yesterday and I wish I had studied a bit.
By the way I am going out tonight with my college counsellor and 2 other friends (Drama Queen and the guy I hate – after having loved for some time last year). It’s gonna be like a retreat for us coz we agreed on helping her (the college counsellor) in proctoring a pre-SAT this morning (8:30 am till noon) for the first year students. We’ll go to the mall in the afternoon, then have dinner and watch a movie – it should be fun! (anything that makes me go off-campus is Fun!) lol
So I will be unproductive tomorrow too. FML :P
I am off to go now, and help her out…

Hope you guys have good plans for the weekend!
Have fun and stay safe!

Bestest,
Sam

Friday, February 19, 2010

I LOVE Adam Lambert!



This is random, I know! lol
(2nd post for today)


I am LOVING Adam Lambert!!!
I haven’t really listened carefully to his songs before. So today, I spent some time on youtube buffering videos of him, his songs, some interviews he had, and people talking about him and his sexuality… I absolutely love him! (I guess all gay/bi people do too, right?)
He’s also super hot!
I wish I could put some eyeliner too – if only society would tolerate this! lol
His song lyrics are really deep and his voice is gorgeous - well, who am I to say the opposite?
And his Mother is also super cool - she was once asked in an interview about her son and how she found out about his sexuality and she is extremely supportive and loving!!

Bye the way, his song “No Boundaries” is AMAZING!
Check out its lyrics... I think it kinda resonates with me and how I feel…

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want, but how long can you wait
Every moment lasts forever
When you feel you've lost your way
And what if my chances were already gone
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you gave me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
So here I am still holding on


With every step you climb another mountain
With every breath it's harder to beleive
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one place
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries.. (x 2)


I fought to the limit, to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don't know where the future's heading
But nothing's gonna bring me down
Jumped every bridge
Run every line
I risk being safe
I always knew why (x 2)
So here I am still holding on

Photography Seminar... must read, must see!

I had  such a lonely and tearful day yesterday… It was one of those random self acceptance crises a guy like me is expected to get. Thanks God, I had a great friend, online, to support me and give me all kind of reassurance and hope! I always appreciate it, my liefde!

I am gonna post down some of the advices that a lady (professional photographer) gave us during a Photography seminar I attended 2 days ago. If you’d like, email me to send you her modest website – I don’t want to advertise for her in vain lol

-          If you wan to go into photography (as a career or as a hobby), go first for something (i.e. topic, theme) you really know, is close to your hear or you’re passionate about. For example, nature, or family.
-          While shooting photos, keep communicating with your subject (the one you’re taking a photo of) so that they feel comfortable and behave as naturally as possible.
-          However, be invisible (i.e. don’t let your subject feel like you’re all over them)
-          If doing ‘reportage’ photography, always go around your subject. Never expect them or even ask them to turn or lean for you!
-          Take time to observe – look around and explore the setting –  Hence, you’ll find the best shots to take
-          Imagine how the photo would be before taking it – this gives you more creativity in taking the best background and your subject in their best position…
-          Put yourself in your subject’s shoes. Imagine how they’re feeling and how they’d react so that your photo will hold a context and a story within it.
-          Hence, always remember that: Good Photograph = Frame + Context
-          Do not limit yourself to one frame (angle or perspective). Rather, always take some 5 to  6 shots from different perspectives and then decide on which one is better and shows most context and hence, worth keeping.
-          Look at the work of other photographers.
-          Develop your own style (after having learned about other styles from various professionals and photographers) and be unique.
-          Photography is enjoyable so have fun with it!

I have always enjoyed taking photos, just for random reasons, but this seminar made me realize that photography is much deeper than what I thought.

My online friend 'B' is passionate about both: Photography and Writing. Hence, he can combine these two passions by venturing into reportage making (like the lady who gave us the seminar). Photographs with some text linked to them (context) can deliver great messages and make change in this world, bringing different parts of the world closer to each other and making people aware of certain global or local issues, hoping for understanding and hopefully resolving them.

Hope you enjoy photography and that this post has been somehow helpful or at least interesting..
I'll post soon aroud some research done about homosexuality in the animal kingdom! :)
(Beside the human animals lol)

Lastly, “Keep smiling, because life is a camera”

Sam


Here are some photos I have personally taken over time....
(No hints intended towards where I am from or where I live - I travel! lol)

 

Thursday, February 18, 2010

She has cancer but cancer does not have her...

Hey again!
(second post for today)

I spent the whole day online, reading other people’s blogs and catching up on blogland lol
It was fun yet lonely – I am feeling so lonely these days and still cannot find anything much to smile about or be happy
I am loving this blogland but it sucks coz it requires a lot of time – which I happily spend – but my school barely gives me any free time to keep up with the blogging. I do not want to run selfish by only posting about me and not catching up on fellow bloggers. I don’t know if you understand what I mean…

I talked to Mom this morning and she gave me some bad news – my aunt (she’s super sweet and lovely) has gotten cancer back and has been redoing chemotherapy for some time now. She did radiotherapy last week and now lost ALL her hair again (she lost it like 8 years ago, then got cured). The doctor says she’d survive for a few months. But she’s super religious and miracles have been happening to her… I really pray that God gives her health and takes away all her pain (physical and emotional).
By the way, my community service project is an organization for cancer awareness. If I do go into Medicine, I will either become a plastic surgeon or a caner doctor and researcher.

My grandparents are also not doing that well either. (My aunt is single and lives with them)
They have all sorts of disease – diabetes, hypertension, etc… and now they have emotional problems coz of my aunt and the messed up life they’ve got…
I really don’t want at any time to hear over the phone or online (from my family or so) that some relative of mine from my extended family is lost or so. I can NEVER handle this! I am so scared of death! And now I am away from home, so I am not really up to date with all that’s happening… I can NEVER be ready to handle such news..
I’d probably commit suicide (I’ve thought about it before, very often!)

I am not scared of me dying – I’d welcome it with peace. I am scared of losing someone I really care about so much! (someone from my family for example, God forbid!)
I really prefer dying myself instead of hearing such news. I know it’s selfish to feel that way because then it means that I do not want myself to suffer from the loss of someone important to me but am OK with others (the ones close to me) suffering from losing me.
I HATE DEATH! Who doesn’t anyway…

I also pray that my father gets better – he has some sort of flu… my Mom said.
Yeah, Mommy keeps on telling me all sorts of news over msn, good or bad – doesn’t  really  matter

Pray with me for my aunt, please!

Love you!
Sam





I hate death!

Restoring myself… a bit

Good day, my friends!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH STETHY FOR PLUGGING MY BLOG AND WELCOME TO ALL MY NEW FOLLOWERS! Love ya!

First of all, I wanna apologise to all of you for not posting in a while – my school was fucking up my life a bit (as always)
I was looking so messed up in the previous days – lack of enough sleep and crappy school food (that I don't eat)

My Chinese test went bad!
Well, for an A* student, I did very poorly coz that was the first time we had all the exam written in Chinese characters and we had to answer the question using characters ONLY! Before then, we used to use ‘pinyin’ (which is like using the Latin letters – a,b,c…z – lol for the sound of the characters)
Excuse my cockiness, please..

My Chemistry test also went bad! The test cleared me thoroughly. I hate chemistry, by the way. In my former school, chem was regarded as the science subject for dummies (in sciences) lol. I wonder what happened now. It’s so freaking annoying!

I also had a short History test. I stayed on Tuesday up until 3:00 am trying to read those articles we had for it. When I finished, I could barely remember what I read lol. So I wrote the test the second morning and FML! I didn’t really need to read those crappy stuff for it. It’s not that I did well in the test, I just would have never done well in it, anyway (have I read or not)!

Yesterday after dinner (5:30 PM), I came to my room and wore my pjs. I thought of sleeping a bit then waking up later to blog, and socialise with some fellows. We also had a school-wide session later on. So I went to bed at 6:00 pm, hoping for a nap and I found myself waking up the second day (today) at 4:40 am! These were the most awesome 10 hours of sleep I have ever had (in my entire life). I don’t remember having slept this early ever. And TEN fuckin hours! Is something I have never achieved at my current school.
So yeah, I missed the school session, blogging, and chatting with some friends and with my Mommy…
I am still shocked coz of how I slept :S

I am looking much better than before now. Oh, and I had a freaky dream. It was about me sitting in a surgery room with a plasttic surgeon refusing to do my rhinoplasty. He was saying that's it's unethical of him to do it coz my nose is not that bad and shit like that. I kept insisting but he also kept on refusing...
By the way, I REALLY want to have his nose job done in the summer. I know it will improve my life a lot, coz it'd give me more confidence and whatnot. I am still trying to convince my Mom about it - I told her I'd pay for it (from my life savings lol)!  *fingers crossed* she accepts!!! Please... please GOD, let her accept!!


Anyway, we have a long weekend (no school Thursday-Sunday) and am happy about it coz I’ll get to sleep, chill and catch up on my pile of assignments. I did NOT sign up to go anywhere, off-campus these few days. I guess I just wanna chillax (chill+relax).

My school is stupid! Teachers are calling these 4 days-off,  a h-o-l-i-d-a-y! (Thursday and Friday no school – Saturday and Sunday have always been free for us, you fuckers! – @ my teachers)
So they have bombarded us with assignments saying we’ve got plenty of time to do them!
Moreover, they’re asking us to start studying for our mocks (coming early March). The Dean literally sent us an email saying that we should NOT relax at all in these 4 days coz “A holiday is a luxury candidates cannot afford” (I am quoting him)


FML!
I WILL relax! (and blog too) whether they like or not.
Of course, I’ll have to study too… but bleh! I am so sick and tired of studying. I want to GRADUATE!



PEOPLE! I have in mind some cool stuff to post about so please come over my blog constantly over these 4 days! (I might be even posting more than once a day)


PS: Thanks a lot for your good wishes! I am off to reply to some emails, now.
Please remember to always email me if you need someone to talk to or for plain fun. I am all yours! ;) confusedyethonest@gmail.com


I love you guys!
Sam

Sunday, February 14, 2010

* Asian guys fetish! *


(second post for today - please check out the one before)

I had a great day today. I woke up late – in my standards (around 9) and left campus at 10:30.
I went with a few teachers (including my Chinese teacher) and some students to China Town.  We visited the Chinese market where I bought nothing (it was kinda stupid, with many fake E.D Hardy clothes lol) and then went to a Chinese restaurant. We had a 12 course-meal! It was Heavenly – I ate oh so much!!! I ate as if there’s no tomorrow – it’s been so long since I have had such good food (because of the crappy food at my school). We ordered almost everything on the menu and had all types of meat: Chicken, Beef, Pork, Duck, Prawns, Fish, and other funny seafood creatures lol

OMG!! One of the waiters there (he’s the son of the restaurant owner) is so damn hot! He’s Chinese and extremely CUTE! He’s in his twenties I think and has the most amazing innocent look I have ever seen. I think I have some sort of a fetish for Asian guys… seriously, I really admire them! I love their neat and clear face with those angelic features and OMG! I love their hair… That dude had relatively long hair and it suited him so well… Gosh! He’s so so so cute! (He’s like a combination of the 4 guys in the picture below – and even cuter!)
I’d die for him! (or for someone like him lol)
I think it’s unfair for some guys to be this cute and hot!! :P

By the way I am growing my hair now and am planning on relaxing it and dying it – dark black - so that I get a bit of Chinese or Japanese hair style. I hope I remain patient and not go get a short cut soon
After the restaurant, I went to the mall and did some little shopping. I bought a dress for my sister and some shorts and a T-shirt for my younger brother. I am already buying gifts for my family members – getting ready for the time I see them in June. I bought for myself a nice hat and a flashy orange bracelet.

PS: I am not likely to post anything before this coming Thursday. I will compensate when I am back.
I have so much school work that I haven’t touched yet and I have 2 exams on Tuesday and Wednesday, plus other readings and write-ups…
Then, I have a long weekend (Thursday-Sunday) that I am so looking forward too.
Wish me luck and take care of your precious self!

Bestest,
Sam


Valentine's Day Reflection...


 


Thank you all for your support, yesterday. I went out to see what people were doing. I had pizza and then some brownies with ice cream – they were yummy! Ice Cream and chocolate are always good company for desperate single people! Lol

By the way, in my 18 years of life, I never had a valentine and I never had to buy anything on that day. YEAH! Saving money lol
 I feel it’s stupid… and it does not make much sense to me.
Why do you need a day to show to your partner how much you love them and by them gifts?
When you love someone you’re meant t let them know how much you love them by every sunrise and again at every sunset. And gifts… you can always get them and it does not matter how much you paid for the gift because in French, we say: “c’est le geste qui compte” and what matters the most is thinking about the person and not how much you pay for their gift.
Anyway; I so wanna watch Valentine’s day… I have been seeing the trailer over and over. I hope I get to go to the cinema place (i.e. my school lets me out!) to see it. It’s amazing how many great actors are starring in it (Jamie Foxx, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Shirley MacLaine, Ashton Kutcher, Topher Grace, Patrick Dempsey, Eric Dane, George Lopez, Queen Latifah, Emma Roberts, Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner) OMG!!! TAYLOR LAUTNER too!!! (way too hot)
… I wonder how much its production had cost… I’ll check now lol

My school mates were organizing an outing tonight (with their girl friends) and I am not invited. I would have been invited if I did not ditch Drama Queen… whatever, I do not really care. I simply wanna graduate and say “good bye to all those people .
By the way, there are two types of single people in my school. Some are single because are such losers and hopeless that no one would ever date them. Some are so cool (or so they think) and above the sky (very few though) that they cannot find any matches to choose. I am amongst the second type of singles. This does make me feel a bit better lol
Happy Valentines day, great people!
I hope you al celebrated in a way or another… May your life be always filled with Joy, peace and LOVE!

Love y’all!

Sam


lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelo
velovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelo
velovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
love
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lo
velovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove 
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lo
velovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelo
velovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelo
velovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelo
velovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine Depression...


Hey friends…

I am not in the mood to talk with anyone… I am suffering from Valentine’s depression, I think. It’s not that serious… I am simply pissed and unhappy. 

I am chatting with my Mom and she’s telling me about how my sisters’ boyfriends (both of them) have called her asking her help in arranging valentine surprise for my sisters.
One of them just called her saying that he’s bringing a small truck (probably full of flowers :P) to our place an wanna decorate my sis’s bedroom and our saloon and give her the other gifts…
The other one has not made up his mind yet...
But both my sisters are going for dinner tomorrow night with their boys too...
I am happy for them. I really am! I am also happy coz my Mom is not acting conservatively. She agreed to help both boyfriends by all possible means to make their surprises successful.
My sisters have taken photos of the gifts they ve bought for their boys and sent them to me via email to ask me if they’re cool and if they need to get anything more…haha (I am curious like that - and helpful! lol)

At my school, all boys (who have gf) have been going off campus this whole week – Valentine shopping… and they all look so excited and STUPID!
My roommate’s girlfriend never really talks to me. Yesterday she invited me for a walk outside and asked me to help her arrange my roommate’s Valentine gifts next to his bed so that he wakes  up tomorrow morning and gets the surprise…. :@
Tonight, my school (the student government and some Student-Run Businesses) are organizing a small concert with desserts and then a party (dancing…)…. It should be starting in a few minutes…
I am still wondering if I should check it out or not… 
Do I really need to increase my Valentine depression? lol

(Maybe it's better for me to go back to my school books and get busy with my fuckin pile of homework!)

FML! I want a Valentine too!!!! :P