I will just brief you a little about what’s been going on with my confusion.
So, Yesterday night I met with my advisor; I visited him at his place and sat with him for like an hour. That was the first time I talk to him about my confusion though he already knows about it from my former gay teacher. As I told you before my advisor is also gay but he did not come out at school but I knew about that by gadyar means lol. He is such a cool guy!! He was very supportive and told me a little about his own life, how he came out to some of his close friends, his parents’ reactions, his goals… He also kept on telling me: “Never go back” meaning that I should never regret any related move I do and that I should keep looking forward with confidence…
He suggested to me some books and movies (such as Milk) that he thinks I should get because they’d help me a lot. He will hopefully find some of them for me. He explained to me why my former teacher has told him about my confusion before asking me for permission – my former teacher knew that I will not be always able to see him and so he did not want to leave me on my own. How sweet! :)
He even thanked me for talking to him because it made him feel real (since he also gets irritated my how narrow-minded people at my school are) and he asked me to come and talk to him whenever I feel like :)
I also asked him if he can arrange for me to see my counsellor (who helped me before with other issues and who knows me very well) to work on making up my mind and self-acceptance...
He finally advised me not to come out to anyone at school. I am graduating in 5 months and leaving all of them. Plus, they are all so narrow-minded, he said, and coming out would bring me more harm than good, especially that I have to focus on my studies for the time being.
That was basically it….
I will keep you posted!